Something has felt off the last few weeks. I’ve lacked motivation. I made the most money I’ve ever made in a single month in April – way above what was what I thought was an ambitious goal. And I was left empty, with a feeling of “now what?” and “can I do this month after month after month for another 20 years?” And the answer to that is, “I don’t think so.”
I’ve been reflecting on purpose and meaning this week, as mentioned in my previous post. Recently, I’ve felt trapped in a never-ending cycle of earning money just to pay bills and debts, with no end in sight.
What’s troubling me most is the endless nature of my circumstances. Deep down, I can’t see myself doing this for another 20-30 years. The main issue is feeling trapped; I can’t stop working because the bills will never stop coming.
I felt compelled to share these thoughts, not seeking feedback but rather to release them into the Universe.
On Wednesday, I attended the funeral of a young woman, a friend of my girlfriend’s, who was only 28 years old. Beyond the overwhelming sadness of the occasion, a particular thought emerged and has continued to trouble me.
I started reading “Beyond High Performance” yesterday, a book by the founder of a coaching firm where my former personal coach is now a partner.
The definitions of High Performance he used really took me aback. It was like a light went on in a dark room for the very first time, and all of a sudden, everything just made complete sense.
I’m not wired like everyone else. I didn’t fully grasp that before.
This morning’s weigh-in showed a 28-pound gain since last August, bringing me close to my November 2022 weight.
A cold last month threw off my workout routine and eating habits. Getting back on track has been challenging, but it’s not all doom and gloom.