Something has felt off the last few weeks. I’ve lacked motivation. I made the most money I’ve ever made in a single month in April – way above what was what I thought was an ambitious goal. And I was left empty, with a feeling of “now what?” and “can I do this month after month after month for another 20 years?” And the answer to that is, “I don’t think so.”
I’ve been reflecting on purpose and meaning this week, as mentioned in my previous post. Recently, I’ve felt trapped in a never-ending cycle of earning money just to pay bills and debts, with no end in sight.
What’s troubling me most is the endless nature of my circumstances. Deep down, I can’t see myself doing this for another 20-30 years. The main issue is feeling trapped; I can’t stop working because the bills will never stop coming.
I felt compelled to share these thoughts, not seeking feedback but rather to release them into the Universe.
On Wednesday, I attended the funeral of a young woman, a friend of my girlfriend’s, who was only 28 years old. Beyond the overwhelming sadness of the occasion, a particular thought emerged and has continued to trouble me.
Think the two big lessons for me so far on this coaching journey are:
– Integrity: We’ve spoken about this, and I absolutely need to live up to my word. I plan on having a notepad next to me to track every commitment, ensuring I follow through. I need to improve with clients in particular – I’m not proud of my performance there.
– Realistic commitments: I think my struggles with integrity stem from good intentions but unrealistic goals. Instead of taking the time to plan for success (especially with clients), I commit and think “I’ll make it happen”. I need to be much more mindful.
I haven’t done these in a bit. I had an amazing week last week productivity-wise, and this week is also starting off really well. I’ve just been focused on important client deadlines and have lost touch with the bigger picture, partly from not doing these exercises, so I wanted to get back into it. However, I’m thinking of maybe only doing it three times a week, at the beginning, in the middle, and at the end. Doing this daily might not be the best use of my time.
I started reading “Beyond High Performance” yesterday, a book by the founder of a coaching firm where my former personal coach is now a partner.
The definitions of High Performance he used really took me aback. It was like a light went on in a dark room for the very first time, and all of a sudden, everything just made complete sense.
I’m not wired like everyone else. I didn’t fully grasp that before.
Returning to daily reflections after a pause, my focus last week was primarily on KPIs, leading to a strategic decision to prioritize other tasks over these reflections. This approach seemed well-managed, though it might have slightly shifted attention away from main priorities.
Today was great! I finished five hours of client work, kept my diet on track, and even lost three pounds in two days. I also managed to fit in some yoga and started the Google UX certificate on Coursera. I’m really happy with how the day went. My next step is to focus more on my passive income ventures, which I’ve been neglecting lately.
Today was pretty good. I managed to work for three hours – not as much as I’d like, but still productive. The afternoon included a dentist appointment, and the day wrapped up nicely with dinner with a friend. I feel like I’m getting back on track, especially since today was a significant improvement over yesterday. I’m optimistic about moving in the right direction.
This morning’s weigh-in showed a 28-pound gain since last August, bringing me close to my November 2022 weight.
A cold last month threw off my workout routine and eating habits. Getting back on track has been challenging, but it’s not all doom and gloom.